You see, I got trolled on YouTube again yesterday. Someone seriously had nothing better to do on a Sunday morning than tell a dancer they don't know that she has no hopes of becoming a pro and furthermore, that she is very, very, very fat (I've weighed 140 at my heaviest. I can only imagine that one needs to be 90lbs or less to please this person). Oh dear me, a perfect stranger thinks I am a horrible fat dancer, I guess I will throw away my hip scarves and lock myself away in my house, sobbing while I push myself through endless Sweating To The Oldies workout videos.
This is the second time someone has chosen YouTube as the vehicle to tell me that I am wasting my time as a dancer. Well guess what? I really don't care what you think, random YouTube trolls. For every one of you, there are dozens of people who love to watch me dance, people who come to every show, people who tell me I am beautiful, and people who are thrilled to have me in their classes, their shows, their lives, their troupes.
I like to think I have a pretty realistic view of who and what I am. I am not the best dancer in the world, in the city, or in my troupe. I know what areas I exceed at and where I struggle. I know it when I misstep. And yes, it may shock you to realize this but I do in fact know that most of my fat has collected in my round white belly. Of course, it's funny, when I took up dancing I expected that comments about my appearance would focus on my awful teeth, but apparently there is nothing worse a dancer can be than FAT*. How dare I show the world anything less than a perfect six pack?
For some reason, YouTube haters don't want me to dance. I don't know why. Are they scared of the competition? Or can they really not stand for someone else to be happy? Or do they really, genuinely believe that dance falls into some very strict parameters, possible taught to them by an awful, controlling, jealous teacher, and that anyone who doesn't dance the way they do is doing it wrong?
I really don't care about their reasons. I just want them to know two things:
1. You cannot stop me. I have put on my fighting trousers, and they happen to be dance pants. While you are wasting time tearing people down on YouTube, I will be drilling, or working on my new costumes, or encouraging the newer members of my troupe, or looking for new music, or daydreaming about Tribal Fest, or watching videos with an eye towards inspiration.
2. If you troll my videos I will delete your stupid comments and mock you on Facebook. And if I see you trolling a fellow dancer, I will be sure to counter your hate with love. Because I will not allow you to stop anyone else.
*I don't actually think I am fat. Also I know a lot of dancers who are my size and larger who are performing professionally, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, YouTube trolls.