Monday, April 1, 2013

You cannot stop me

Why yes, it is April Fools Day and I am writing about YouTube trolls, so I think it is the perfect day to post a Professor Elemental song. I do feel like donning my fighting trousers and shouting "I. Will. Not. LOSE!"

You see, I got trolled on YouTube again yesterday. Someone seriously had nothing better to do on a Sunday morning than tell a dancer they don't know that she has no hopes of becoming a pro and furthermore, that she is very, very, very fat (I've weighed 140 at my heaviest. I can only imagine that one needs to be 90lbs or less to please this person). Oh dear me, a perfect stranger thinks I am a horrible fat dancer, I guess I will throw away my hip scarves and lock myself away in my house, sobbing while I push myself through endless Sweating To The Oldies workout videos.

This is the second time someone has chosen YouTube as the vehicle to tell me that I am wasting my time as a dancer. Well guess what? I really don't care what you think, random YouTube trolls. For every one of you, there are dozens of people who love to watch me dance, people who come to every show, people who tell me I am beautiful, and people who are thrilled to have me in their classes, their shows, their lives, their troupes.

I like to think I have a pretty realistic view of who and what I am. I am not the best dancer in the world, in the city, or in my troupe. I know what areas I exceed at and where I struggle. I know it when I misstep. And yes, it may shock you to realize this but I do in fact know that most of my fat has collected in my round white belly. Of course, it's funny, when I took up dancing I expected that comments about my appearance would focus on my awful teeth, but apparently there is nothing worse a dancer can be than FAT*. How dare I show the world anything less than a perfect six pack?

For some reason, YouTube haters don't want me to dance. I don't know why. Are they scared of the competition? Or can  they really not stand for someone else to be happy? Or do they really, genuinely believe that dance falls into some very strict parameters, possible taught to them by an awful, controlling, jealous teacher, and that anyone who doesn't dance the way they do is doing it wrong?

I really don't care about their reasons. I just want them to know two things:

1. You cannot stop me. I have put on my fighting trousers, and they happen to be dance pants. While you are wasting time tearing people down on YouTube, I will be drilling, or working on my new costumes, or encouraging the newer members of my troupe, or looking for new music, or daydreaming about Tribal Fest, or watching videos with an eye towards inspiration.

2. If you troll my videos I will delete your stupid comments and mock you on Facebook. And if I see you trolling a fellow dancer, I will be sure to counter your hate with love. Because I will not allow you to stop anyone else.

*I don't actually think I am fat. Also I know a lot of dancers who are my size and larger who are performing professionally, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, YouTube trolls.


  1. hahahaaa! Sic 'em, girl! They've either never seen Marjahni or they're scared to say anything to her. She's awesome and, while she's lost a lot of weight in the last year-plus, she was a heavy professional dancer I'd never bet against. I loved her Itsy Bitsy Spider on YouTube (if you want inspiration). And her pops and locks are awesome! Don't let 'em troll, lady! No way, NO how! (and the only one who's opinion of your beauty truly counts is the one who loves you most, eh?)

    1. I am going to look that video up tomorrow, it sounds great!

      Beauty is an iffy thing for dancers... Although for the most part I feel like the only opinions that matter are mine and my husbands (and even he doesn't have veto powers), I also have to acknowledge that if I want people to pay me money, I have to accept that they might not hire me if I'm not beautiful enough. That said, I am not going to starve myself or get into extreme exercise to give myself a flat belly, especially since I'd probably also lose a couple cup sizes and have to remake all my tribal bras -- the horror!!!!

  2. Yay! What a great attitude you have! I have seen you dance and you ARE beautiful, so there. This is a cozy world, and we are getting cozier all the time. So YES!! DANCE!! The rest of us here will applaud you as you do. Who knows, some of us might even be brave enough to join you. HUGS!!!

    1. Thank you Dawn! You are such a sweet ray of light, your words here and on FB really touched me.

  3. I'm 61 years old. I believe I'm beautiful, still talented even though I don't have a right knee to dance very well with, presently, or the best musician in the world. But, nothing will stop me from trying and keeping up my percussion and violin practice and keeping up with my Tribal Belly Dance moves and friends. I'm not thin and I don't think that matters anyway. Artists have bigger souls, bigger lives to live and better things to do than put people down for living their dreams. I think it must be a very shallow person, a very sad and jaded person that finds joy in tearing other people down. That kind of person never worked on their own talents to enlarge that which sets artists apart and makes them awesome. Trolls are like emotional vampires, forever hoping to rip the heart and soul out of those that understand and are dedicated to the joy of their crafts. Trolls feed off of failure. Artists have friends that back them up and appreciate them and respect what they do. That's why trolls can't win. Can't touch that!

    1. Cynthia, you really inspire me! You are the most fun, vibrant 60+ year old person I have ever met and I hope to be a lot like you 30 years down the road (I've already got the tattoo!). I love that you still dance and I am glad that you are keeping up with your music while your knee is out of commission.

      You really hit the nail on the head, trolls ARE emotional vampires! Obviously they are missing something that they are trying to get by tearing others down.


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